Citizens should learn to reform, gov’t must remain unchanged

Today Senior Senator Iatheb Grouch discusses questions about government reform.

I, Senior Senator Iatheb (I am the best) Grouch, do declare to my adoring fans, that we are going to fight for the Founding Documents, the pillars of this great country! Many people have been asking that the government review the FouDocs, saying we need to keep up with the times and make reforms. Well, to them I say: the power of reform belongs with The People. The government, for the sake of stability and unity, must remain unchanged in every way.

Individual reform is what drives this country. From the time you begin school you are taught to constantly adapt and advance. We test you and give you report cards so that your future may be determined. Then, when you go to work, you receive performance reviews that pin point and nit pick your smallest flaws so that you may improve. Individual improvement is what made this country great, we shouldn’t shift the focus now.

We shall not assess healthcare for one very good reason: The fear of going bankrupt from medical emergencies has proven to be an excellent incentive for otherwise lazy people to keep up with longer hours, stagnant pay, and less vacation time than any of our allies! When you wake up in the morning dreading going to work and hating your boss, you can tell yourself: “well, now I will have a chance to make money incase of a medical emergency, or if I live long enough to have grandkids.” We, the government, have given you that incentive, and for that we deserve thanks.

People want a closer look at environmental policies regarding such things as water pollution. If you want clean water and food, get a water filter and grow your own vegetables. Learn how to build a hydroponics garden on your 4x4 balcony. Other people do it. Why can’t you? You want to call for reform for clean water just because you are unwilling to put in the money and effort to build your own commercial-grade garden system? That is selfish and not in the spirit of this great nation.

If you want to get a better job, you should get a better education. Don’t complain you can’t afford it — that’s what loans are for. And this country has provided some of the best loans in the world! Just take out a loan and then pay it off for the rest of your life. What’s the big deal? You’re going to be working anyway, right?

Besides, if you take out a loan for education, there is a very teeny-weeny chance you may one day own a yacht. How about that young fellows? Cling to the tiniest hope of that chance! That’s what The People’s Dream is all about. You can’t put a price on hope like that.

Now to address the original point of reform, unfortunately the government does not have the luxury of introspection and self-evaluation that The People have. If we were to take a cold, hard look at ourselves, that would take too long; who would govern? Who would meet with lobbyists and see that corporate interests are being adhered to? Capitalism would fail!

Let’s not forget that the brand of capitalism that built this country was founded on good, old fashioned hard work by the masses. We have gotten really good at capitalism and are making more money than ever — overall. Sure, it’s only in a few hands, but it is in hands of some sort. And, that’s all that really matters. What counts is that we can look at the numbers and say “the numbers are high today.” You, The People, should be proud of your contribution to those numbers. That is the sort of pride that fills bellies and keeps you warm in the winter.

That is why I advocate for not wavering one single letter or comma away from the FouDocs. Sure, we’ve had amendments in the past. Sure, our allies have all managed to move on with the times. But, we are different, and better. We are greater, the greatest in fact, and therefore do not need to look at how other countries have improved and adapted to changing times. To them I say: stop stifling the freedom of your people and attacking capitalism! I would remind them that 100 years ago they were looking to copy our progress. It is of no consequence that they no longer hold us in the same regard.

For us, in this great nation, it is an individual’s prerogative to continuously improve and reform. The government, on the other hand, should remain static and unchanging, like the Pyramids, or Stonehenge. May we last as long, exactly as we are, so that we can be a reminder to the rest of the world of what they could have been, had they never reformed.